Bullying in the workplace

Sexual Harassment Complaints

A study by the Centre for Work and Life at the University of South Australia has shown that only 10 per cent of perpetrators of sexual harassment resigned or were dismissed from their place of employment compared to 60 per cent of complainants who ended up resigning or who were dismissed as a consequence of victimisation after making a complaint.

One of the authors of the study, Paula McDonald from Queensland University of Technology said, 'The consequences fall largely on the person who makes the complaint'. The effects of this are that the 'negative consequences stop a lot of formal complaints being made'. 

Although as a man I have not been the victim of sexual harassment I can relate to the reasons why women would not raise a complaint. In my experience a person whether female or male who raises any type of complaint is often further discriminated by the process of addressing the complaint. Within the church denomination of which I am a member I have heard of cases where the person or persons making the complaint are asked to leave their positions while the person whom the complaint is made remains in their position. These particular complaints have been about relationships of power. In other cases both the complainant and the person complained about are asked to leave. There seems to be little hope for natural justice or fair play being observed. The person making the complaint has to take into account that by making a complaint they are more than likely going to lose their job or be asked to move so they are silenced or bullied into remaining silent while the person doing the harassing continues in their position and harassing others. It seems very unfair and unjust. Often the person being complained about holds power in such a way that intimidates committees set up to deal with complaints. 

As men I think we need more education and understanding about the effects of sexual harassment on women. We need to take responsibility for our actions and for our education in areas of sexuality and power and be aware of the rights of others to come to work without fear of harassment by us. We need to develop a sense of self-awareness. Our words, our body language, our size, our position and our actions can be intimidating without our awareness of the effects of these and we need to be aware that it is these very things that perpetrators use to intimidate and harass. Where we men see other men behaving in such ways we have to collectively summon up the courage to stand up to it.

The full article on Sexual Harassment Complaints can be found at this link:

Sexual Harassment Complaints

Bullying

An approach to bullying which asserts that everyone engages in bullying behaviour in order to maintain control and that bullying is not a pathological behaviour. Everyone is encouraged to talk about it and when it is talked about it can lose its power. Please click on the link to an ABC Australia interview with Professor  Stuart Twemlow

Bullying

The Boys

The Boys

My friend Andrew took me along to the theatre the other night to see the play The Boys. Andrew does a lot of group work with men http://www.groupworksolutions.com.au/ and I went because his partner was ill. Although I had put a link to the background of the play on this Blog a couple of months ago I didn’t really want to go and see it. I knew what the story was about and did not want to spend an evening being ‘entertained’ by violence.

The play was very confronting, literally in your face. We were in the front row and the main character pulled down his pants and bared his bottom to the audience. I thought the acting was superb, it was non stop, intense and the atmosphere was charged. But I didn’t like it. I felt uncomfortable, intimidated, angry and sad.

The main theme that struck me was the attitude of the men to women. This came across in both words and actions. The women were portrayed as seeking meaningful relationships and something better for their lives. The men were portrayed as having a great sense of entitlement: entitled to do what they wanted, when they wanted, how they wanted, and without any consideration for either their mother or girlfriends. They viewed women as objects. This came across very strongly in their views on sex and in the simulated sex scenes – you can never let a woman be on top. The sex portrayed was devoid of loving relationship and intimacy. A woman’s body was merely an object for ejaculation and in treating her so she would know her place, she would know who held the power, she would know who was boss. The violence in the play was not just meted out on the women. The brothers were pulled into submission to the elder brothers views through violence. These beliefs were enforced upon both women and men to maintain their place and the place of men above women. The cycle of violence was being continued and legitimised by these beliefs and backed up with violence.

I would imagine that most men if asked would deny holding such views of women and would distance themselves from the views and actions portrayed in the play. However, women throughout the world know what it is to live with the threat and effects of both sexual and physical assault not just from strangers but from within their own families. As a man reading this I am wondering if you have ever questioned your own views about women. What informed those views? How were they formed? From whom did you learn them? What did your father model to you about women? What did male teachers, ministers, priests, sports people, brothers, uncles, grandfathers and other significant males in your life model to you? Was what was modelled to you respectful of women? Has what you have learnt contributed to deepening and respectful relationships with women? I personally hold the view that the more men respect women, the more satisfying their relationships with women can be. Can a man change? Please click on the following link for more links to groups working with men who want to improve their relationships.

http://www.groupworksolutions.com.au/links

Project Unbreakable

Project Unbreakable is a collection of photographs of survivors of sexual assault holding up signs with the words their attackers said to them while abusing them to keep them quiet. People take the power back by showing the words used against them. Please click the link...

Project Unbreakable

Think Equal

We live in a world where women are less likely to own land , are less likely to be educated and more likely to be poorer yet more likely to do more work than men. That doesn't sound fair, does it? There are many reasons for this unfairness and inequity; among them inheritance laws which benefit male siblings over female siblings  and patriarchal religions which elevate men to a higher status in a social order giving theological support to the view that women are the property of men. There is an enormous way to go to change laws, attitudes and religious beliefs that continue the injustice to women right across the world. If you are a man please begin to think equal, think about equality. All things are not equal and cannot be considered equal. People do not have equal access to work, to education, to rights. For a woman to be considered equal to a man in order to take up a position she needs to have had the same rights, education and opportunities that men have had. As a pro-feminist I believe that the benefits of an equality that is equitable are not just for women but as women benefit so will men and especially in their relationships with women. Please have a look at this link... Think Equal, think what an equitable equality may mean.
Think Equal: Women at work

Islamic women's sex and power

Have a look at the film trailer for The Source a film about women with holding sex from their partners until water is piped to their village. It should be a great film for men to watch if we are not already aware that men are unfairly privileged in this world over women.

Islamic women's sex and power

The Justin Campaign - Rugby League Ref Comes Out

The Justin Campaign


The Justin Campaign - Rugby League Ref comes out

A love affair

I posted this in my Weddings and Funeral Celebrant Blog but also included it here for men to read and comment on.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a man and was very moved by the way his grandchildren spoke so affectionately about him. They described the relationship their grandfather had with their grandmother as a love affair. They had been married 52 years and had ceremonies to renew their vows twice during that time and had planned to have me officiate for another renewal of their vows on their next anniversary. They described their grandparents dancing closely late into the night in a cabin on holiday in Tasmania and sleeping in the same bed, snuggled up, no matter where they were or how small the bed was whether on the Indian Pacific Train or in a bunk bed on an ocean liner. He never wanted to be separate from her even for a night. They described him as a man who lived with passion and instilled in them a passion and adventure for life. He was passionate in his love for his partner and wife, passionate as an artist, passionate about sport, passionate about his friends, passionate about his family. And yet this was a working man, ho worked with his hands all his life.

 

As I listened I thought what an example this man is to his grandchildren, but specifically to his grandsons. What a role model he is to younger men and to all men in society. I marvelled at the way he demonstrated such passionate love and respect for his partner of 52 years. I thought how good is this for men to see this modelled to them and how even better it is for women to be loved so totally as this man loved.

It was a challenge to me. How many of us men view our partners as someone we are having a love affair with? And if we did how would that improve our relationships and the lives of our partners?

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips

Click on the link below for tips for men on how to prevent sexual assault  The tips were found on the Tumblinfeminist website http://tumblinfeminist.tumblr.com

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips

Racism and Homophobia in Sport

In recent weeks there have been a number of occasions where very high profile footballers in the English premier league have been accused of making racist comments to other players during games. Last night Fabio Capello the manager of the England team indirectly resigned because of one such accusation. He argued that the decision to drop John Terry as captain of England by the English Football Association was incorrect because he believes that the accusation of racism is a matter for the civil courts to decide not a matter for a sporting court to decide.

Players of African and Caribbean background are regularly subjected to racist taunts and chanting by football crowds. Players and officials in football must set the example of there being no place for racism within sport and high profile players must be educated about the damaging effects of racist remarks and institutional racism. Likewise homophobic taunts by players to other players or from spectators can have far reaching effects on boys and men growing up in cultures that are traditionally not inclusive of people who are deemed different. The incidents of suicide among young men who are gay are very high. It can be very troubling and confusing to come to terms with one's sexuality in a world where one is not deemed as 'normal'. Former England Footballer Graeme Le Saux was subjected to constant taunts questioning his sexuality during his career and has recently spoken publicly about his experiences Support for Footballers who are also gay. Because of the homophobic prejudice rife in football few players are willing to come out as gay and so are forced to live secret lives.

Sporting associations, religious organisations, educational institutions, armed forces, law enforcement agencies, the media, employers and so on must take strong stands against any hints of racism or homophobia within their systems both publicly and privately in order to create safer environments and a safer world for men and boys to grow up in.

As a member and leader of a religious organisation I think that it is imperative that there is no rhetoric, no hints, no evidence of anything that is discriminatory in any way when it comes to issues of race, ethnicity, culture, belief, sexuality or gender.  But I think it is not enough to be passively against discrimination. Organisations such as the church must be actively and publicly working for the inclusion of all people within its organisation and within society. Like Sporting associations and all other public organisations the church must take responsibility for the effects it's own rhetoric, discriminatory practices and example can have on the lives of people because of their race, gender or sexual preference etc.

In many ways it is time for sporting organisations and other organisations such as the church to 'come out' more publicly in support of people discriminated against because of their race or sexual preference.

The boys are back

Male Violence -something to reflect on

Cut and paste the link...

http://mpegmedia.abc.net.au/homepage/video/730_theboysareback_edit.flv