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Friday, February 24, 2012

Islamic women's sex and power

Have a look at the film trailer for The Source a film about women with holding sex from their partners until water is piped to their village. It should be a great film for men to watch if we are not already aware that men are unfairly privileged in this world over women.

Islamic women's sex and power

Friday, February 17, 2012

A love affair


I posted this in my Weddings and Funeral Celebrant Blog but also included it here for men to read and comment on.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a man and was very moved by the way his grandchildren spoke so affectionately about him. They described the relationship their grandfather had with their grandmother as a love affair. They had been married 52 years and had ceremonies to renew their vows twice during that time and had planned to have me officiate for another renewal of their vows on their next anniversary. They described their grandparents dancing closely late into the night in a cabin on holiday in Tasmania and sleeping in the same bed, snuggled up, no matter where they were or how small the bed was whether on the Indian Pacific Train or in a bunk bed on an ocean liner. He never wanted to be separate from her even for a night. They described him as a man who lived with passion and instilled in them a passion and adventure for life. He was passionate in his love for his partner and wife, passionate as an artist, passionate about sport, passionate about his friends, passionate about his family. And yet this was a working man, ho worked with his hands all his life.
 
As I listened I thought what an example this man is to his grandchildren, but specifically to his grandsons. What a role model he is to younger men and to all men in society. I marvelled at the way he demonstrated such passionate love and respect for his partner of 52 years. I thought how good is this for men to see this modelled to them and how even better it is for women to be loved so totally as this man loved.

It was a challenge to me. How many of us men view our partners as someone we are having a love affair with? And if we did how would that improve our relationships and the lives of our partners?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Racism and Homophobia in Sport

In recent weeks there have been a number of occasions where very high profile footballers in the English premier league have been accused of making racist comments to other players during games. Last night Fabio Capello the manager of the England team indirectly resigned because of one such accusation. He argued that the decision to drop John Terry as captain of England by the English Football Association was incorrect because he believes that the accusation of racism is a matter for the civil courts to decide not a matter for a sporting court to decide.

Players of African and Caribbean background are regularly subjected to racist taunts and chanting by football crowds. Players and officials in football must set the example of there being no place for racism within sport and high profile players must be educated about the damaging effects of racist remarks and institutional racism. Likewise homophobic taunts by players to other players or from spectators can have far reaching effects on boys and men growing up in cultures that are traditionally not inclusive of people who are deemed different. The incidents of suicide among young men who are gay are very high. It can be very troubling and confusing to come to terms with one's sexuality in a world where one is not deemed as 'normal'. Former England Footballer Graeme Le Saux was subjected to constant taunts questioning his sexuality during his career and has recently spoken publicly about his experiences Support for Footballers who are also gay. Because of the homophobic prejudice rife in football few players are willing to come out as gay and so are forced to live secret lives.

Sporting associations, religious organisations, educational institutions, armed forces, law enforcement agencies, the media, employers and so on must take strong stands against any hints of racism or homophobia within their systems both publicly and privately in order to create safer environments and a safer world for men and boys to grow up in.

As a member and leader of a religious organisation I think that it is imperative that there is no rhetoric, no hints, no evidence of anything that is discriminatory in any way when it comes to issues of race, ethnicity, culture, belief, sexuality or gender.  But I think it is not enough to be passively against discrimination. Organisations such as the church must be actively and publicly working for the inclusion of all people within its organisation and within society. Like Sporting associations and all other public organisations the church must take responsibility for the effects it's own rhetoric, discriminatory practices and example can have on the lives of people because of their race, gender or sexual preference etc.

In many ways it is time for sporting organisations and other organisations such as the church to 'come out' more publicly in support of people discriminated against because of their race or sexual preference.