Bullying

An approach to bullying which asserts that everyone engages in bullying behaviour in order to maintain control and that bullying is not a pathological behaviour. Everyone is encouraged to talk about it and when it is talked about it can lose its power. Please click on the link to an ABC Australia interview with Professor  Stuart Twemlow

Bullying

The Boys

The Boys

My friend Andrew took me along to the theatre the other night to see the play The Boys. Andrew does a lot of group work with men http://www.groupworksolutions.com.au/ and I went because his partner was ill. Although I had put a link to the background of the play on this Blog a couple of months ago I didn’t really want to go and see it. I knew what the story was about and did not want to spend an evening being ‘entertained’ by violence.

The play was very confronting, literally in your face. We were in the front row and the main character pulled down his pants and bared his bottom to the audience. I thought the acting was superb, it was non stop, intense and the atmosphere was charged. But I didn’t like it. I felt uncomfortable, intimidated, angry and sad.

The main theme that struck me was the attitude of the men to women. This came across in both words and actions. The women were portrayed as seeking meaningful relationships and something better for their lives. The men were portrayed as having a great sense of entitlement: entitled to do what they wanted, when they wanted, how they wanted, and without any consideration for either their mother or girlfriends. They viewed women as objects. This came across very strongly in their views on sex and in the simulated sex scenes – you can never let a woman be on top. The sex portrayed was devoid of loving relationship and intimacy. A woman’s body was merely an object for ejaculation and in treating her so she would know her place, she would know who held the power, she would know who was boss. The violence in the play was not just meted out on the women. The brothers were pulled into submission to the elder brothers views through violence. These beliefs were enforced upon both women and men to maintain their place and the place of men above women. The cycle of violence was being continued and legitimised by these beliefs and backed up with violence.

I would imagine that most men if asked would deny holding such views of women and would distance themselves from the views and actions portrayed in the play. However, women throughout the world know what it is to live with the threat and effects of both sexual and physical assault not just from strangers but from within their own families. As a man reading this I am wondering if you have ever questioned your own views about women. What informed those views? How were they formed? From whom did you learn them? What did your father model to you about women? What did male teachers, ministers, priests, sports people, brothers, uncles, grandfathers and other significant males in your life model to you? Was what was modelled to you respectful of women? Has what you have learnt contributed to deepening and respectful relationships with women? I personally hold the view that the more men respect women, the more satisfying their relationships with women can be. Can a man change? Please click on the following link for more links to groups working with men who want to improve their relationships.

http://www.groupworksolutions.com.au/links

Project Unbreakable

Project Unbreakable is a collection of photographs of survivors of sexual assault holding up signs with the words their attackers said to them while abusing them to keep them quiet. People take the power back by showing the words used against them. Please click the link...

Project Unbreakable

Think Equal

We live in a world where women are less likely to own land , are less likely to be educated and more likely to be poorer yet more likely to do more work than men. That doesn't sound fair, does it? There are many reasons for this unfairness and inequity; among them inheritance laws which benefit male siblings over female siblings  and patriarchal religions which elevate men to a higher status in a social order giving theological support to the view that women are the property of men. There is an enormous way to go to change laws, attitudes and religious beliefs that continue the injustice to women right across the world. If you are a man please begin to think equal, think about equality. All things are not equal and cannot be considered equal. People do not have equal access to work, to education, to rights. For a woman to be considered equal to a man in order to take up a position she needs to have had the same rights, education and opportunities that men have had. As a pro-feminist I believe that the benefits of an equality that is equitable are not just for women but as women benefit so will men and especially in their relationships with women. Please have a look at this link... Think Equal, think what an equitable equality may mean.
Think Equal: Women at work