I participated in a White Ribbon Event in Wollongong last Friday 25th November. As part of the evening there was some interactive theatre in which the actors posed as a few friends trying to help a friend who was feeling very stressed about work and eventually went on to hit his partner.
Here is a quote from the event advertising: Forum Theatre is a form of interactive theatre developed by Augusto Boal, a Brazilian social activist and theatre maker who also developed Theatre of the Oppressed, a theatre form used in South America to work with communities on human rights and other social justice issues. In Forum Theatre the audience influences the action and suggest different paths for the actors to follow as they look for solutions to problems.
The drama presented a man feeling incredibly stressed by the insecurity of his workplace. He did not know how long the company would keep going and how long he would have a job. He was getting aggressive in leisure time, at home and at work even with his friends. It was a challenging and confronting piece of theatre as it forced us all to think how we might assist a friend in preventing him choosing a path of violence against his female partner.
The word choice came to the fore. How might a man develop choices other than resorting to violence? The first thing to acknowledge was that physical violence was not a choice one can make and secondly that we have to take responsibility ourselves for finding other ways to deal with the anger in our lives. The drama made us think about how we can interact with men, to get them to talk and assist them to find other ways to deal with the things that were causing them stress.
It got me thinking about how we men don't like violence either and try to avoid raising the issue of another man's violence with the man himself. We are fearful of the threat of violence too. Men can be unaware of the way they use their bodies and body language to intimidate. It is difficult to have an open conversation when the other person is looming over you or is huffing and puffing or pacing up and down. Men can be very threatened by an intruder into their private life and especially when their violence is challenged.
It is one thing to sit down and talk with a man after he has committed an act of violence against his partner especially if he has come to you for counselling or help, but it is a totally different thing to try to engage with a man when he is being violent or threatening violence.
It challenged me to come up with a number of possible ways we might prevent violence by men against their partners. We have got to get a clear message to all men in society that violence is not a choice they can make. How might we do this? From my experience men do not usually seek help until after they have been charged with assault or their partner has left them. Men don't think it is their problem or their responsibility to challenge other men. Men do not easily volunteer to attend anger management or violence prevention classes unless forced by law. So how can we educate ourselves to make other choices? There are a number of groups working with boys in schools but it would be great if businesses would allow time for employees to attend on site prevention of violence against women classes. They could be packaged as part of 'stress management', and be part of a business' social responsibility in the community. Any improvements to the individual and to how he is feeling abut himself will have a positive influence on the team in which he works. So there are great benefits for the business too.
For years I have tried to raise the issue at weddings that I have performed as one way to let men know that violence is not a choice they can make and I have always invited men to speak with me if they wish. Men need to hear other men saying that violence against women is not on.
What other ways could we raise this with men? What ways could we train men to find other alternatives to violence? How can we help them to use their words carefully and caringly?
Any thoughts and ideas are very welcome.
Here is a quote from the event advertising: Forum Theatre is a form of interactive theatre developed by Augusto Boal, a Brazilian social activist and theatre maker who also developed Theatre of the Oppressed, a theatre form used in South America to work with communities on human rights and other social justice issues. In Forum Theatre the audience influences the action and suggest different paths for the actors to follow as they look for solutions to problems.
The drama presented a man feeling incredibly stressed by the insecurity of his workplace. He did not know how long the company would keep going and how long he would have a job. He was getting aggressive in leisure time, at home and at work even with his friends. It was a challenging and confronting piece of theatre as it forced us all to think how we might assist a friend in preventing him choosing a path of violence against his female partner.
The word choice came to the fore. How might a man develop choices other than resorting to violence? The first thing to acknowledge was that physical violence was not a choice one can make and secondly that we have to take responsibility ourselves for finding other ways to deal with the anger in our lives. The drama made us think about how we can interact with men, to get them to talk and assist them to find other ways to deal with the things that were causing them stress.
It got me thinking about how we men don't like violence either and try to avoid raising the issue of another man's violence with the man himself. We are fearful of the threat of violence too. Men can be unaware of the way they use their bodies and body language to intimidate. It is difficult to have an open conversation when the other person is looming over you or is huffing and puffing or pacing up and down. Men can be very threatened by an intruder into their private life and especially when their violence is challenged.
It is one thing to sit down and talk with a man after he has committed an act of violence against his partner especially if he has come to you for counselling or help, but it is a totally different thing to try to engage with a man when he is being violent or threatening violence.
It challenged me to come up with a number of possible ways we might prevent violence by men against their partners. We have got to get a clear message to all men in society that violence is not a choice they can make. How might we do this? From my experience men do not usually seek help until after they have been charged with assault or their partner has left them. Men don't think it is their problem or their responsibility to challenge other men. Men do not easily volunteer to attend anger management or violence prevention classes unless forced by law. So how can we educate ourselves to make other choices? There are a number of groups working with boys in schools but it would be great if businesses would allow time for employees to attend on site prevention of violence against women classes. They could be packaged as part of 'stress management', and be part of a business' social responsibility in the community. Any improvements to the individual and to how he is feeling abut himself will have a positive influence on the team in which he works. So there are great benefits for the business too.
For years I have tried to raise the issue at weddings that I have performed as one way to let men know that violence is not a choice they can make and I have always invited men to speak with me if they wish. Men need to hear other men saying that violence against women is not on.
What other ways could we raise this with men? What ways could we train men to find other alternatives to violence? How can we help them to use their words carefully and caringly?
Any thoughts and ideas are very welcome.
